With the obvious exception of Christmas, there is no one day of the year that generates as much excitement in the lives of my kids as Halloween. Of course, there is no substance that generates as much excitement in the lives of my kids as chocolate, which may explain the Halloween thing.
I have had my share of Halloween adventures over the years, mostly after I was too old to go out trick or treating. I met my wife-to-be at a party on Halloween night in 1987. I was dressed as a baby, complete with diaper, bonnet and a pacifier large enough to choke a horse. Although the common reaction to my costume that night could best be described as "recoil in horror", I somehow earned the affections of that lady and we married 3 years later. To this day, she tells everyone that she has known me "since he was a baby".
Perhaps because my legs were no longer what they used to be or perhaps because a smart-ass grocery store clerk refused to sell me cigarettes without seeing my ID, I retired the baby outfit after that night and began my career as a vampire. I have a long, illustrious career as Vampire at events ranging from home parties to a particularly memorable Collective Soul concert in Ottawa where I almost got killed after trying to bite the wrong girl's neck. I hung up the vampire suit and fangs not too long after that and have laid low on Halloween ever since.
All these wonderful memories came flooding back today while searching for pictures to put on this year's Halloween greeting cards. I think I'll go with the vampire, since I'm concerned that using the mail system to distribute the disturbing image of me in a diaper and bonnet may violate some sort of federal mail laws.
You know, I was told this week that Maxwell Smart's "cover" job was as a greeting card salesman..... hmmmmm... could that be next year's costume idea?!?!?!?
If you'd like to send your own Halloween greeting to someone you care about (or want to scare the crap out of), just click here and you can do it at my expense..... You'll make their day! Be sure to do it by Friday, Oct.23 for delivery before Halloween! Consider it a Halloween gift to you from me: the baby who grew into a Vampire!
Have fun and Happy Halloween !!
Greg
